Everything we know—our reality—is determined by our surroundings. Actually, that’s not entirely correct. Our reality is determined by how we perceive our surroundings. Which means that if you can change how someone perceives his or her surroundings, then you can change his or her reality.

Our Frame is our frame of reality, or how we perceive everything. In any social interaction, the person with the stronger Frame—the person who believes in his or her respective frame of reality the most—determines the frame of everyone else in the interaction. So, if you believe in your Frame the most, then everyone else will ‘fall’ into your Frame, changing their reality.

We have two main uses for Frames: to establish a Frame for ourselves that benefits us, and to impose our Frames on a situation, changing perceived reality to our will.

You should include a few basic themes into whatever Frame you create for yourself: fearlessness, standards, non-achievability, class, fun, calm, control, friendly, helpful, etc. Pretty much everything a high value male would be. Now, these do not have to be—nor should you expect them to be—subconscious and natural. You can produce the reactions of a high value male simply by having these Frames in mind and thinking in terms of them before reacting to anything.

When we impose our Frames on other people, we are playing Frame Games. You do this by showing—through body language, tonality, and diction—that you believe completely in the Frame you are putting up.

Often, others will believe strongly in their own Frames, and will, therefore, create a bit of trouble for us when we make ours known. The key to Frame Games: never falter. Even when you know they are correct, never for a second back down from your Frame.

That is not to say, though, that you should butt heads with people on everything. You have the capacity to be wrong about everything but yourself. Understand that and pick your battles. If someone knows something you don’t about elections in Afghanistan, maybe it’s best to let them take the lead. If someone tries to tell you, either implicitly or explicitly, who you are, stand your ground.

Here are a few examples of things I’ve done through Frame Games: