Body Language

When developing your intuition, you need to develop a good eye for body language. As you know, most of what you say—you say through your body. Well, the same is true for others; now let’s learn the language they speak.

First, let’s work on identifying and interpreting body language signals others send. Honestly, it is impossible for you to remember and spot all of the body language cues. So, instead, learn a few common ones: arms crossed, direction of feet and hips, eye movements, symmetry, exposed neck/wrists, leaning forward or backward, and eye creasing (lines next to the eye when smiling).

Here’s a quick reference for various meanings:

Crossed Arms

Guys: The guy feels defensive; if you are AMOGing him and he does this, you are doing a good job. If you are trying to befriend him when he does this, build rapport.

Girls: The girl feels defensive or insecure. Girls often cross their arms to place a barrier between them and something or someone they do not like. If your target crosses her arms, it is time to re-calibrate; she may cross her arms either because you’ve shown too much interest, or because you’ve hurt her feelings through over-the-top negs.

Direction of Feet and Hips

Feet and hips indicate attention for both guys and girls; they show intent—if one’s feet are pointed towards a door, he or she wants to leave. If a guy’s feet are pointed towards a girl, he admires her.

Eye Movements

Eye movements tell you one’s brain function. Refer to Making Friends Pt. III for more information Symmetry

Betas sit symmetrically; it’s safe. Be asymmetrical; be unpredictable.

Exposed Neck/Wrists

A girl will expose vulnerable parts of her body (neck, wrists, inner elbows, palms, etc.) when she want to appear submissive, and therefore attractive. Thus, if a girl exposes these areas, you have attracted her.

Leaning Forward

Guys: The guy is either interested or building rapport. In both cases, he has a lower value than whatever or whoever he is leaning into.

Girls: The girl is either interested (intellectually) or interested (emotionally). If she leans into you, consider it an Indicator of Interest (IOI). If she leans into someone else, step up your game.

Leaning Backward

Guys: The guy feels confident that he knows the future of the interaction (as in chess, or a conversation), or he has merely lost interest.

Girls: A girl leaning backward feels comfortable with either whoever is before her, or her interest has run out and she no longer wants to invest into the interaction.

Eye Creasing

When a girl smiles, look for wrinkles stemming from the outer ends of her eyes; if they exist, her smile is real.

Now that you know the main body language cues for which to look out, it is time to tweak your own body language. You want to come across as relaxed, fun, and in-control. To accomplish this with as little pain as possible, here are a few pointers:

• Sit and stand comfortably as possible; it makes you look calm and collected.
• Be a-symmetrical whenever you can; it shows fearlessness by exposing yourself to attack.
• Show your palms often; it makes you seem more sincere.
• Spread out; once again, showing vulnerability actually shows lack of fear.
• Always display your thumbs—unless your hands are behind your back (fearlessness) or you are doing the cowboy stance (masculinity); since the dawn of man, thumbs have been a sign of power—possibly because we’re the only ones with them.
• Stand with your legs slightly farther apart than what you are used to; this will prevent you from rocking back-and- forth, which displays nervous energy.
• Avoid putting your entire hands in your pockets; not only does this cover your palms and thumbs, but it also makes you look sad.
• Hold your chin high; sad people look at the ground, not you.
• Show areas that most people are insecure about; if you are overweight, do not try to hide it—if you have acne, do not conceal it—if you are short, do not wear high shoes: most people wallow in their insecurity, but you are strong. If you feel comfortable with yourself, so will everyone else. That is not to say you shouldn’t work to be healthy; be comfortable with yourself, but set a goal if you feel unfit.
• Never cross your arms.
• Do not lean forward to hear/speak unless your audience is your girlfriend; instead, speak louder and slower.

Go out and practice good body language. Within days you will notice the positive vibes you receive from both yourself and other people.