A1 refers to everything that transpires before you are officially part of the Set (this happens when you reach the Social Hook Point). Luckily enough for me, in the example above, I never had to go through A1: I knew more than half of all the girls there and was, therefore, instantly accepted into the Set. That is called a Warm Approach: you already know one or more of the Set-members. If, however, you are committing a Cold Approach, A1 is vital.
Note—Even in some Luke Warm Approaches, where one of the Set-members is a friend’s friend, A1 is important. My suggestion: get good at A1 through Cold Approaches, that way you’ll be well prepared for any situation calling for such skills.
As briefly described before, we divide A1 into three parts: Pre-Approach, Open, and Stack. Without any of these steps, the entire Attraction process, and, therefore, the entire system, goes to hell. The Pre-Approach ensures a clean delivery of the Opener, the Open initiates the interaction, and Stacking gets you to the Social Hook Point. All three are integral.
This, theoretically, occupies the least amount of the pickup. From the second you see a Set, to the second the first word comes out of your mouth, you are in the Pre-Approach stage. When you see a Set, you have a few determinations to make instantly:
Let’s go over basic plans for different Set types.
1-Set (girl): While this type of Set is very rare, many of the Pre-Approach questions are unnecessary. If you encounter one of these during the day, often times a unique Direct Opener (we shall go over Opener types next) may be the method of choice; as you walk directly up to her (B-Line), analyze her for possible compliment seeds. I.e. If she has a camera around her neck, you may compliment her on either her style (if she’s using it as a fashion statement), or simply ask her about it (this does display interest, regardless of what you thought before). If you come upon one of these Sets at night time, however, direct may not be the best style of opener—how could you spot something unique about her appearance or aura or energy from 20 feet away in the dark? Unlikely. Play it safe and use an Indirect Opener; one pattern that seems to work well goes as follows:
Paint yourself as a fun-loving guy; no one you want to be around dislikes fun. I promise.
1-Set (guy): Hey—sometimes we want a new friend! Say you want to open a male 1-Set; the best method is to be non-confrontational: do not bug the guy! Build rapport while asserting yourself as an alpha male. How to Make Friends Parts I,II, and III all help with the former goal, while AMOGing, Body Language, Vocal and Speaking Skills, Lifestyle, and the attraction switches listed in A2 will help you reach the latter goal.
2-Set (Girls): Intimidating? Hardly. A 2-Set of girls is one of the simplest Sets to crack; not to mention, they’re fairly common. For this Set, open over the shoulder with an Indirect opener directed at the Obstacle (the friend of the Target). This places both the minimum amount of pressure possible on the Target and just the right amount of attention on the Obstacle. In fact, focus most of your efforts on the friend; she’s the gatekeeper. If you want to get to the target, you better have the Obstacle’s approval. Once you get it, either isolate the Target, or bring in a Wing and run Wingmanship game (which we’ll go over later).
2-Set (Guy and Girl): Analyse for an extra second or two to determine their relationship (if possible. Do not waste time using this as an excuse not to approach; even if they are clearly going out, approach.) The beauty about this type of Set lies in the fact that it is nearly impossible to care about the outcome—you go in with a zero percent chance—or so it seems. You have several options here: Open the guy first, then move onto the girl after AMOGing or befriending him; open the girl with the “Old friend opener” (Prime the Approach, then walk right up to the Target and ask, “How've you been?” as if you know her.) and isolate quickly; open the girl with the “AFC gambit,” (pretned to be very nervous anytime the guy pays attention, then go back to gaming when he looks away) or, finally, open the Set any way you like and bring in a Wing to occupy the guy. I often open these Sets for the simple joy of meeting happy couples—sometimes you can gain valuable relationship insight from them.
3-Set (Girls): You will find this Set more than you will all others; attractive girls bring friends out with them for both company and protection from boring AFCs, resulting in an overabundance of 3-Sets. Keep this in mind—the more objectively pretty a girl is, the more protection (friends) she needs. Open one of the Obstacles, Neg the Target, Isolate, etc., etc. All of which you shall learn shortly.
3-Set (1 guy, 2 girls): This Set is irregular, but very possible. Open the guy to disarm him. Then you should identify relationships within the Set since this is one of the rare occasions that the other male may prove useful. If you determine that the guy and the Obstacle are together, he may help you take away the target so he can be alone with his girlfriend. If you determine that the guy and the target are together, he may help you take away the Obstacle for the same reason. Now, why is taking the Obstacle away helpful? Well, for starters, you get on the guy’s good side; secondly, you can isolate the Obstacle and show her how high value you are, but become her friend, that way she goes and tells the target all about you later; thirdly, there’s no harm in making another friend. If you need to, AMOG the guy.
4- to 7-Sets (Mixed): Open the least attractive group member (usually a guy), use all your body language and vocal skills. These are the toughest Sets.
7+ Set (Mixed): At first glance this looks large; truthfully, though, it is really 2 or 3 smaller sub-Sets that you can work independently. Try to identify the number and size of the sub-Sets; choose one, open it, then move around the larger group. For further instruction, read The Entertainer.
Note—You will make a B-Line to the target only when running a Direct opener. All other openers should be delivered over the shoulder to demonstrate minimal interest.
When planning on running a Direct Opener, which we shall go over next, you will want to Prime the Approach. You do this by having some non-verbal communication with the target before you enter the Set. You may wave at her, smile at her, nod your head towards her, etc. Basically, do anything that will make her smile when you Open; not only does this drastically increase the chances of your Direct Opener working, but it also reduces the chances of the rest of the Set getting mad at you when you Open the target.
Approaching Anxiety: This terrible feeling stops titans in their tracks. Against all logical reasons to talk to a girl, when we start walking towards a Set, we get an intense and sickening feeling in our stomachs that acts like a leash, keeping us from approaching. Why? It seems counterproductive, I know, but it serves a purpose. Well, it did a few thousand years ago. When we were cavemen and cavewomen, we lived in 50+ person societies, where everyone knew everyone. So, if you approached the wrong girl, her boyfriend and his pals would come to your mud-hut and bash your skull in with a rock. Not fun. In fact, this was so not fun that we, as males, developed Approaching Anxiety (AA) to stop us from meeting that demise. Thanks evolution!
Now, How do you get rid of Approaching Anxiety? To be honest, the only real way is to approach. It’s an awful lot like jumping into a cold pool; you do not want to jump in, you get all nervous before you do, and when you do it feels bloody terrible. Though, after a few minutes swimming around, it starts to feel good! Next thing you know you’re getting out and doing cannon-balls into it. We adapt, especially after we get first person evidence to not fear something.
This, however, is not a cure-all. In fact, the next day, when you go outside to the freezing pool, the process starts over. It sucks, but every day you go sarging, you will get Approaching Anxiety all over again. So, how do we minimize its effects? Well, we have 2 main ways: the 3 Second Rule, and Throw- Away Sets.
3 Second Rule: We have this funny little rule to keep us in the game despite AA; it reads, “From the instant you see a Set, you have 3 seconds to approach.” This nifty rule minimizes AA by reducing the amount of time we feel it.
Throw-Away Sets: These are Sets where the outcome does not matter (really, that description should apply to all Sets, but for now...); these normally compose of old people, guys, clerks at stores, and non-attractive girls. Approaching these Sets will get you in a talkative and social mood, which will help build the momentum you need to open real Sets.
When analyzing a Set, you may decide that the best method for approaching would be a Merge; we have two kinds: Forward and Backward.
Forward Merging: Sometimes the logistics don’t lend themselves very well to a regular approach—maybe the Target is surrounded by guys, a perfect 10, or both. In cases like this, it may be beneficial to open a 2-Set of 8s, befriend them, then Merge the two Sets together by bringing the Set with you when you Open the 10. At that point, you can either pawn off the 8s to occupy the AFCs around the 10, or use the girls as Pre-Selection as you Open the better Set. You can get the 8s to come along by simply saying, “Hey, let's go make some friends.”
Backward Merging: Say you make the minor mistake of Opening the 10 surrounded by guys. Oh well. It’s not a big deal—eject before you get blown out, Open a Set of 8s, then Merge back into the Target Set.
Note—Later, when we go over Prude/Purd theory, we shall add a step to the Pre- Approach stage of A1.
The actual act of starting the conversation is called Opening; this is arguably the most important part of the interaction since it sets initial value calculations that are hard to reverse—also known as First Impressions. People’s first impressions often stick with them a long time; almost how a commercial for a movie makes you determine whether or not you want to see it—the first words out of your mouth, and the way those words come out of your mouth, make the Set determine whether or not they want to keep you around. Harsh, I know. But that’s life, then you die! Seriously, though, let’s get this right.
The Openers are initial routines or gambits meant to give the Set a positive first impression of you. These can be spontaneously made up on the spot—Situation Openers—or they can be planned ahead-of-time—Canned Openers. Additionally, all Openers fall under two categories: Direct and Indirect. Direct Openers convey interest, not neediness, in the Target. Indirect Openers display zero interest in the Target; they may even express disinterest in her (through Negs, which we shall go over later). Direct Openers are more risky, but cut down the amount of time between Opening and Closing; Indirect Openers reduce the chances of being rejected, but increase the length of the interaction. I prefer Indirect openers because I like to close every Set I Open.
Direct Openers: Now, like everything in life, there are good Direct Openers, and bad Direct Openers. Every girl over the age of 15 has heard a bad Direct Opener: countless girls have been called “cute” by strangers, and guess what—those girls never end up with those strangers. In fact, they usually tell the strangers to go away. We do not use bad Direct Openers, we use good Direct Openers—in case I had to spell it out for you.
A good Direct Opener displays interest without being generic or needy; how do we do this? Well, we compliment her on something most guys would not notice: her style, her aura, her energy, her hair color, etc. Find something unique about the target and make a comment about it. It may sound like this, “Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I think you have a very interesting sense a style, and you don’t really see that around here. Where’d you get the shirt?” Anything similar to that should work wonders. For safety, always Prime the Approach before running a Direct Opener—especially if she is not a 1-Set.
Note—Many guys prefer going Direct because almost every single opener will be slightly different, making it seem genuine and natural.
Indirect Openers: 90% of the time, I run Indirect Openers; they allow you to easily enter the Set, run your material, disarm Obstacles, establish high value, and much more. From what I have found, the success rate resulting from Indirect Openers is far superior to that from Direct Openers (on most Sets). Granted, Indirect Openers are not the best option some of the time—for example, when opening a 1-Set mid day, run a Direct Opener. Also, because of the deceptive nature of these Openers (you telegraph no interest when you actually are interested), they are often difficult to make convincing.
Note—Many guys dislike Indirect Openers because they feel like they are lying to the target; I like them, though, because I both enjoy the high success rate and think that she’s lying to me by wearing make-up. (So that makes us even.)
Unlike Direct Openers, Indirect Openers do not fit a mold with interchangeable parts; Indirect includes various other types of Openers: Opinion, Situational, Advice, Insult, Joke, and Role-Play.
Opinion Openers: Openers in which you ask for the Set’s opinion on an item, situation, or person. This is the most commonly used kind of Indirect Opener since you can ask about pretty much anything. Some decent Opinion Openers include:
Situational Openers: Openers that rely on context. It’s nearly impossible to ‘can’ these openers, so I’ll just give you a few examples that I’ve used in the past:
Advice Openers: Openers during which you give advice to the Target or Set. Many times these also fall under the category Situational because you need something unique on which to give advice. When I use these openers, I usually give advice about either how the Target should wear her hair, or what colors work well with the Target’s appearance. I then go on to compliment the Obstacle to avoid getting blown out.
Insult Openers: Openers during which you insult the Target. Unless you’ve demonstrated a large amount of value before entering the Set, you will probably not get much success with these. The most well known Insult Opener is just giving the bird to the Target; it works only on 10s, and must be calibrated to perfection. I do not suggest using Insult Openers.
Joke Openers: Openers during which you tell a Joke. These can be difficult to pull off without looking like a court Jester, but, if done properly, they can have a great effect. I usually do these Openers on throw-away Sets to get into a social mood. My favorites include:
Note—Always think your joke is funny, even if it’s not. By the way, I know the jokes above are not very funny, but that's what makes them so funny.
Role-Play Openers: Openers during which you assign imaginary roles to all people involved. These are probably the most rarely used Openers since they’re often impractical. They’re so rare, in fact, that I can think of only one example: AFC Adam made the Proposal Opener famous online—you can easily find it on Youtube by typing “AFC Adam 60 second kiss close”.
Note—Direct your Openers more at the Obstacles than you do at the Target—this ensures that the Indirect comes across.
False Time Constraints: Every time you approach a Set, the first thing they will think is “when is he leaving?” Now, don’t take it personally—that’s just how people think. To put the Set at ease, we throw in what’s called a FTC (False Time Constraint). You may have even noticed them in some of the example openers: “Hey, I have to get back to my friends,” or “Hey, I can only stay a minute.”
Roll Off: I use this physical indicator of disinterest very often while delivering Openers. To Roll Off, you turn your body away from the Set, and take one step; this gives them the impression that you’re leaving, which, depending on the Set’s comfort level with you, could either calm them, or make them more interested in you. Either way, Roll Offs serve as the least offensive, yet most useful IOD (indicator of disinterest) we have.
Stack: Now, to reach the Social Hook Point, we Stack forward. This term means exactly what it sounds like it means; you run your first Opener, do a Roll Off, then Stack on another Opener. Put simply, Stacking forward means changing the subject smoothly.
You can do this in a number of ways; if during the Set’s replies to your first Opener they give you a new topic, abandon the Opener and run with it (i.e. if they have accents, or they give eccentric answers, you may ask about where they live). Truthfully, you want to spend as little time as possible on the Opener topic. If you ask their opinion, as soon as they give it, express a differing one, then Stack forward—the faster you change topics, the faster you reach the Social Hook Point and get accepted into the group.
Some good transitions from Opener to Opener include:
To reiterate, the key to not losing a Set is Stacking; I’ve seen far too many guys get blown out due to a simple failure to Stack. Don’t be that guy.